Fact: I fail at titles.

Evil Jedi Knight?

or

Good Sith Warrior?


I was leaning towards the latter but after seeing the cool looking gear of the Jedi I'm thinking either would be worth a shot. Still I tend to respect myself more with black clothes on.

I just pre-ordered CoD: Modern Warfare 2 off Play.com and I hope they get it here in decent time (for free shipping I can only hope). And since I've been shielding myself from the surrounding spoilers of the gameplay my excitement and interest are fairly intact.

After running Borderlands for hours on this machine, with full details and resolution I think I'm all set, hardware-wise, or else I would be disappointed. I also got over the fact that Infinity Ward will not implement female avatars in their games, and that if I'm not happy I can always go back to something else.

Somehow I've been enjoying KotOR a lot more than Borderlands because of its many options, the cheats, the modding and my Revan is a love-spreading peace keeper. But he hates Bastilla, makes fun of her every time he can and never takes her out for fresh air. She just stands there in the cockpit, waiting to nag him about her visions and her feelings. Guh!

I just wished the game was more like Sims where you can court and romance just anybody in the game. My Revan would be a total manwhore. He would have boinked that lady in her Taris apartment, the Twi'lek lady in the droid shop, Yuthura Ban, Juhani, Mission Vao (it's a cartoon, give me a break), Yuthura Ban again. All of this while staying Light Side, like a rich black guy wearing all white clothes, driving a white car and being popular among rich white people.

Got bored today and decided I'd spend some time back into KotOR and get in better touch with the era, explore more of the worlds, do all the quests... and use more mods.



Yes, yes. Let me break into your slummy apartment, rob your things, then engage in chitchat. Repeatedly.

I watched the trailer today and I was not impressed.

They broke Azeroth! Big whoop. I bet phasing will be the new biggest, most major bitching topic in the community.

The "new" races aren't new since they were already around to begin with.

People deserved to fly around those parts since the beginning so that is a fake gift. As if you had a cheap Christmas and your parents wrapped up an old plush toy of yours and placed it under the tree.

Class combinations. Behold massive nerf-bitchings and imbalance accusations.


That game has definitely done its time in my book, there's no going back for me.

Here is my blog update to express my passion and love for the overly popular (it's deserved) Call of Duty series even though I missed 3 issues of it. I'm totally excited about Modern Warfare 2, due out November 10th and I've been looking at the screenshots all night.

The trailer really moved me in ways I was not prepared for. For the first time I saw believable human facial expressions rendered in CGI and it was mind-blowing. The story arc (America is attacked!) adds to the drama. I can't wait to explore the tons opportunities for traumatizing action in digital camouflage.

Now if they allow for players to have a female avatar, it would make me a happy bunny. For years and years. Otherwise I'd be okay to hide behind my male alter-egos as I've been doing since forever.

>> Infinity Ward site

It's not the war and the violence that appeal to me, but really just the weapons and the uniforms. Fast action and easy gameplay are mandatory extras to the feeling of awesome sexiness.


PS: to those of you outraged that there are nearly NO female avatars/toons in shooters, I highly recommend that you read this blog article: "Girls with Guns" by Elsa

 

For lack of better things to say I'm going to paste a conversation log. Beware lazy eyes, this is a long one.

( Names have been changed for privacy issues )

Yesterday was full of win for me, because it made me realize a couple things:

Wearing a uniform, or abiding to a dress code with strict instructions on how to present one's self, really placed me in a different level of interaction with others. I hate wearing tights with a skirt, suit shirt and jacket but among other people it's a whole other deal. Suddenly I'm not "me" anymore, people notice the uniform and they see the "profession." Totally boosts the confidence up 10 notches.

Second thing is smiling: I trained myself to smile a whole lot more than I used to, which means that I do it consciously at first and then my face catches the habit. That also totally changes my interactions with others and keeps my mood up even when things are completely fucked. Also it makes me look more pretty.

I am full of myself and that's a good thing. Being a self-conscious, insecure, worried person gets you nowhere. During the interview test that proved to be useful in the sense that I didn't let the interviewer bring me down. Even though I had learned key words and concepts to repeat, feeling like I was the shit has let me use my own reasoning to prove my worth. Stripped of all fear of exclusion or being ridiculed, according to the situation I showed what I'm good at and let others react the way they want.

Hint: it's all about showing and not expressing. People aren't stupid, they observe and take note of everything to find your flaws. Show only the good stuff even if that makes you a hypocrite.  EVERYBODY's a hypocrite.

All in all, I learned that society is not about fitting in and looking average. I have to look and act like I belong, but what I must be better than what's expected. I am not a moralizer and I am not a teacher, but I know that when people talk to me they find inspiration to try something else in life.

I seem to have lost my Smudge Guard and I can't function without it!

Usually when I complain and bitch about something things tend to sort themselves out. Hence me posting about it here.






Edit:

( That was the last out of these bastards )

And honestly they're leading a better life now in a lake. They were over-breeding, I even called them a "biological catastrophe" before dumping them into their new home that is NATURE.

Last night around 10pm I was at the lake park in one of the neighbor towns called Draveil (25km south of Paris). Night falls at around 9:30 these days and it's a good time to walk the dog. But we had no wind last night, and the air was warm (yuck).

So we jogged around the stadium and finished by walking around the lake which is about a 2 kilometer hike (1.2 miles) in almost complete darkness. Dikson has a terrible eye sight in the dark, he confused a backpack with a poodle and kept staring at it for 5 minutes.

Anyway, we walk around the lake and come out in a clearing with no trees on top of us and suddenly appears a bright point of light in the sky.

COMMENCE ASTRONOMY NERD TALK

To be precise, I'd say it was at about 40 degrees from the horizon, heading northeast and traveling at a rather slow speed in an almost horizontal trajectory (2% inclination at most). I'm not good with altitude but it didn't seem any higher than 1000 meters (3,300 feet) under the cloud layer.

The most exciting part about this was the greenish tail of sparkles and smoke it left behind it. Without even realizing it we had seen a shooting star for the first time, ever. I remember it was slow enough for me to "follow" it across a hill and watch it dissolve in the sky above the lake. At that moment I only really believed it was a meteor of some kind, probably space junk and it didn't feel really glamorous or magical until later on.

Having a "contact" with the hugeness of space always reminds me how meaningless and isolated we are. I spent a lot of time skywatching as a kid and teenager so it was nice to finally get something in return for a change.

When you love doing something you wished:

a) you'd have the time and drive to always keep doing it

b) nobody would pressure you to go one or another direction

c) people would respect the things you create

It really only comes down to that, except when you get hired to do that you better not get attached to the things and the people you work with. It's good for quality and bad for business, in KT's case this is true from A to Z. Needless to say I was excepting this to happen.

Today for me is a real life reassessment of True Colors: watching Jusik resigning from the Jedi Order meant never having a chance to see him in action in the Clone Wars again, but at the same time I was relieved and happy that he found his freedom. It was only a matter of time before Karen would take a similar path.

Now I'm only hoping that she has wonderful things to say in the two Imperial Commandos, so we can say a proper farewell to her characters. If another author would pick them up then I'd be extremely interested in reading a different take on Kal Skirata, the Commandos, and of course Bardan. These characters would then become more than just the instruments of one person in the GFFA, it would make them more canon.

I don't believe the Mandalorian culture as we know it now will be changed or erased from the EU because of Karen's departure from Star Wars. In fact we can bet that someone else will carry the series on, or even make Mandalorians the heroes of new adventures.

All good things have an end, it's up to us to leave them in the past and enjoy the future in a different way.

It's both easy and hard, as I'd expected but only in the second week of the program and I already feel strung out. Haven't been able to find inspiration to do anything at all for so long because of this, I know it should get easier once I get used to the stupid hours and the business suit (skirts, boooooo)... Still, I miss being able to just sit anywhere and come up with cool stories or cool artwork. It's like those skills were robbed somehow.

I know they're still there but my brain refuses to push the "career" priorities back down.

It's been over a week that I have been interacting with mostly girls, so I miss talking to guys in general. The mood is often dull with forced attempts at being interesting and I'm there trying to be funny but not many of them chicks laugh at my jokes. Insecure people are no fun.

The stuff I'm talking about is actually a pretty "touchy" topic and for my own sake I ain't gonna describe it here, also for international security matters I better shut the fuck up. Let's say that you should expect me to be less and less available from now on.

Oooh, look at me I'm all mysterious and shit.

Had these for a long time, but only just recently needed to "pair" them up lol

I don't remember what that animal is called...

Unless your dog has been trained from puppy age to loud noises, firearm shots, blasts and explosions...

...do not take your dog to watch fireworks.


Dikson was barely containable tonight (French National Day) when the big fireworks started, he went in complete panic mode. I thought I was losing him and that gave me the fright of my life - or the second, first one being when he ran off down 3 blocks in Paris. He tried to turn against me a couple times I was trying to hold his harness: he pushed me with his paws, caught my hand in his jaws. But thankfully, and I have no idea if it's due to luck or not, akitas are faithful and loyal creatures. Dikson never bit me, ever. I kept talking to him, so he could hear my voice and feel that I wasn't scared (anymore ;P) so he could feel reassured. And I think that the faith I have in him saved him tonight, since someone else would have pussied out and let him run off.

So that's the lesson I learned and even though it was 20 minutes of hell, I'm glad we went through this experience.

( how can we just watch this and laugh?! )

On a side note I want to announce that I am now the owner of a HTC Pharos. So I'm walking around with my smartphone like all the cool kids do. It works fine for 1/3 of the price! Obviously it has a snazzy wallpaper and the Donkey Kong music for ringtone now.

Also, I have to catch up with Vevut Squad. I know this is going to be another busy weekend for me but that short fic has been waiting for a while too long and its fans deserve some love... So the Clone Wars episodes have been playing randomly on my computer for a couple hours, trying to get me psyched up to write about little Ahsoka again.

I was always a fan of gadgets and tried a couple "handheld" devices over the years, always unsatisfied, even when I bought an actual PDA I got screwed over because it didn't have a fucking GPS receiver. Then I got my Eee PC. Well now it's a bit of a problem because it simply doesn't fit in a pocket. I needed another, real, handheld.

So I'm keeping my fingers crossed - and hoping I'm not jinxing it - to receive this baby anytime this or next week:


Ordered for barely €120, second hand because it's an old series. No bullshit 3G, no WiFi (what's a laptop for?) since my data plan wouldn't allow those anyway. As long as I can give/receive calls, text, take pictures, store and transfer data, and finally: use a GPS navigator... Can't wait to upgrade from my stupid W810i.

Doing the whole fine lining thing again. It's tedious, especially in such warm weather!

I was pondering whether to blog about Michael Jackson's passing and just thought it'd be a good way to grieve and think about the consequences.

When I was 10 years old I saw his clips on TV and became a fan after listening to my mother's old LP's, his music opened my mind to music by learning lyrics and I tried to sing like he did. He wrote inspiring songs, "Man In The Mirror" certainly stuck with me over the years. Of course I was bumped by the pedo scandals but that didn't change the fact that Michael Jackson wrote some of the best music of all time.

His death feels like the end of an era, the symbol of how pop should be made is now reminded to everyone around the planet and I hope this helps all the songwriters out there find some good inspiration for once.